Occupation: Financial Services
Age: Mid 20s
How we met: I picked him up at a free liquor party
I met Mr. Cigs and Bigs (he’s a big man w/ some man thighs) at one of those free liquor parties/concerts that are thrown just about every week in the city. I saw this big, buff, chocolate black man w/ man hair standing all by himself enjoying the show, so I decided to swoop down on him. When I’m in the mood to meet men, I usually get their attention in a number of ways….on that eve, I used the bump/coy/pay compliment move. I pretended to bump him, and then I gave him a compliment on what he was wearing. Men like it when you pay them compliments. This dude has a mean suit/tie game. I always appreciate that.
It is true what the older women say, never really make the first pass at a man because it throws the whole balance off. If a man doesn’t come out of the gate in pursuit of you, its hard to ever really recapture that energy.
To set up the date, I texted HIM and set something up for that week…I even picked the place for us to meet (a cigar bar). On the day of the “date” by the early evening I hadn’t heard from him–which was ok because I was clearly in pursuit of him. I know from all of these years of dating in this jungle that if a man is interested in me, he will send a message on the day we’re supposed to meet to confirm (this is what I know for sure).
So, we finally end up at the bar, and when he walks in..I’m like “damn, he’s still fine like I remember, this could be a woman down situation”. As the evening lingered on and we smoked, and drank and smoked and drank…wine…I found myself loosening up and inching closer and closer to him–coyly playing with my hair, unzipping my jacket, letting him see a bit of exposed thigh, gently touching his thigh, his arm, his face in conversation. I was horny. Not going to lie. And in his maleness he sensed that. (Wise dating rule, don’t go on a date when you ovulate, things could get hairy)
He excused himself to go to the men’s room, and I got on the phone w/ the BFF and exclaimed the words that most women know on initial contact with a man “um…he can get it, any way he wants it”… We giggled and giggled until he came back.
However.
As the evening wore on, my mind found itself–wandering off. I couldn’t believe it. In all of his early 20something chitchatter he was unknowingly talking himself out of the cooch, and turning me off. Ugghhh….
The topics of discussion (money, cars, clothes) started making my eyes glaze over. I just couldn’t believe it. Here was a real live man turning me off with his talking.
We hopped in a cab and headed towards my apartment. I was slightly confused because he stays in another borough (not even close to my apartment). So I asked… “Um, where are you going”… He said he was going to see me home, and take the train from there. I’m like I bet…he’s waiting to see if I am going to invite him up.
When we got to the lobby of my building, I gave him an awkward hug and bid him good night. I know my horny woman signals probably confused him, but again…this ain’t sex in the city, and we don’t do one-hitter quitters on 31dates. He’s fine, but he ain’t that fine.
After it’s all said and done, if he stops his chit chatting and if he sticks around for a while, he will most likely win. All 4 bases. Score.
**this picture has nothing to do w/ this post…but I found it hilarious*
2 Comments
Wow! Okay, this was one of the better stories so I had to leave a comment. I can picture it going down so vividly. It does throw dudes off when the woman initiates. Or when her friend comes over and says, my girl thinks you’re fine, you need to holla. From a guys perspective, we like it’s a done dada but sometimes you can fumble da coochie. I can tell you when ol’ dude went to the bathroom, he was looking at his reflection like, I got this! My buddies and I talk about this all the time. If the girl starts giving you the buying signals, your job is not to f*ck it up! Wiggle your eyebrows, laugh, talk as little as possible, just listen to her yap and look interested. Be a little touchy feely, but not raunchy. Finally, suggest a change in venue. If she’s down, you may have a winner.
I think he needs a bit of coaching from some older men. b/c he’s gonna want to figure out how not to lose, after he’s approaching the finish line. geez.
these young whipper snappers. he’s only in his earlier 20s, so…i’m cutting him some slack.